Managing Screen Time

In this episode of Life’s Bumps and Bruises, Luke and Joanne discuss Managing Screen Time on devices. This episode is for managing children’s screen time and the impact of adult screen time for children. 

In the Unpack That segment, Luke and Joanne discuss how to work out when the right time is for young people to start working part-time jobs. 

🎙 This episode is for you if you’re into: 

• Understanding how to manage your child’s screen time
• Strategies on how to stop the tantrums that come with taking devices of children
• Knowing how to be the authority as a parent

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🎧 New episodes drop every Tuesday — let’s open up about the challenges we all face, one real chat at a time.
 
 

Credits:
 
The Inspiration by Keys of Moon | https://soundcloud.com/keysofmoon
 
Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)
 
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
 
Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/
 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Life's full of bumps and bruises. I'm Luke Lee Tet, counsellor and life coach, joined by Joanne Lee Tet, mum and HR professional living what seems to be a never-ending roller coaster.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Each week we discuss strategies to navigate the bumpy road of life.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

With practical approaches to difficult life moments, we bring real life options to the challenges everyday people face.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Welcome to Life's Bumps and Bruises.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

We're glad you're here.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

And I'm Joe Let sitting across from each other.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Well, jump the gun. I'm supposed to like introduce you and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

No, no, we're over that.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Oh, we're over that, aren't we? We're over each other. Shit. Um uh welcome back, Joe. As always, it's good to have you, Condor.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

You have to say that for the show, right? No. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Um last week we spoke about what did we speak about last week again?

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Uh, why men think women are nuts.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Yes, yes, that's right. And we talked a lot about feminine and masculine energy and how the differences between the two. And uh really, if you don't quite understand that part, it could really kill your relationship, to be fair. Um so this week we're gonna discuss uh managing screen time, not just for kids, but for adults too. Um, and that plays out here.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

Definitely does. I mean, you think about screen time and when we were kids and there was no such thing as as this technology and how really this technology is bringing up our kids.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Yes, yep. Uh, and and how that's uh impacting relationships too. Definitely, yeah. Cause I I think that there's a a serious gap between the two. Um uh anyway, uh, how was your week?

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Um it's I can't even remember the week. I remember the weekend. Because it's always it's always fun throwing that at you when you're trying to play. Um try, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

I did try and play.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Yeah, yeah, you played all right, but you could do better. So, you know.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

I'm paying a price right now.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

And the whinging. Oh, the winging.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

The winging move.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

I that's no, no, that's not even like that. I I I'm making groans where I move. Like I could barely get out of the couch. To be fair, I can barely even wipe my own ass right now.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

That's normal.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Like I can just can't reach around, right? Like it's a struggle town, but uh reach around.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

Yeah, definitely struggled hard uh this week. Um filled in and uh yeah, a bit sore, but that's the joys of playing baseball, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Yeah, you know, 44. We go out to baseball each week to watch our kid play. And I didn't watch him play at all. I missed everything he did, but I saw everything that you did. I saw every at bat you had, every error you made, but I saw nothing of it.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

But you make no error.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Oh come on, you fuck the ground ball, should have been a double. You get one. Turn two, man.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

It's not an error, I got an out. I know I didn't mess it up, I just bobbled it a little.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Yeah. But uh no, come on, mate.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

Yeah, keep it real. If you don't introduce another colour for dumb fucks, come on, mate. Shit. Seriously, hey, if uh anybody who's listening uh knows a good marriage counselor, we might need one.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Um anyone knows a good baseball player, let me know.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Yeah, cool, cool. I'm good with that.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

Now, how was your week?

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Yeah, um, how was my week?

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Uh it was all over the place. But that's me, because I got no idea. No, it was all over the place. Um, yeah, I know that I did I did a lot of um stuff and things. Yeah, did some stuff and things, but uh I also um uh finished up on a part of a course that was on uh brain function stuff, um, which was pretty cool. Uh but uh yeah that that was that was really good. But the rest of the week is a bit of a blur, it was kind of feel like um you know you know while there's a lot happening at the moment for us, and we say that every week though. Yeah, there is, uh, and a lot of it is outside of us. Uh so literally the phone did not stop last week. But that's just me having a winch. Anyway, um thank you. So, Joanne, what unpack that have you got for us?

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Yeah, let's get into that. So um obviously I speak to a few parents. Most of these parents are baseball parents, and we talk about our kids and work and you know the shifts they get or the shifts that they don't get, and then trying to fit everything in around that. Um some of our kids train multiple times a week. Some of our kids are um in different programs and have to train as part of those programs. So it's fitting in, you know, obviously commitments to your sport that you love, and where you want to go with that. Um, fitting in school and making sure, you know, a lot of these kids are starting VCA or year 10, 11, 12. Um, so you've got schooling requirements and then work. And it's fitting it, fitting it all in.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

Um, and there's a balance to it. So, you know, we'll we're tossing it around going, you know, when is it is a good time for kids? When should they start working?

SPEAKER_03 5:29

Well, yeah, well, when should they? I guess it's individualized. Each each child's at a different point. I I don't know if there is a right time. Uh, I know you kind of I don't even know how it happened that Patrick started working. He's working at Maccas, and uh, I don't even know how you guys come up with that, but you come up with it. And if you look at the time frames, like it's the um, it's I think it's a really good thing that kids, you know, do part-time jobs. The the difficult part for us is like they keep giving him shifts that don't finish till 11 o'clock. Yeah, basically it's a killer. But um, and then trying to fit that in with all the other stuff that we do as a family, what we do is uh for him in terms of sport, uh, I think that that everything's gotta be factored into that. So if you're gonna put your kid into work, understand you're gonna have to do a lot of the legwork driving around and definitely picking up and dropping off and all that sort of stuff. So uh that that's gotta uh be a factor that you think about. But the benefits really outweigh the the uh the negatives, I think.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

I think so. And I don't even think the benefits is they're making their own money. Um, I think it's good for them to make their own money so they can actually value money.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

That's the way most people see it, right? Money, money, money.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

That's the way they see it. But I actually think it actually teaches him more about responsibility, how to interact with others. You know, when you go into a workforce, there is a pecking order. There are people that you need to learn from and listen to, and you can't just push back and I know everything, because you know what, you don't. Um, so I think it's been really good for him, and it's really good for others. I mean, you I I see, you know, the kids coming into work with work experience and how he was with work experience as well. Um, you know, it teaches him so much.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

It does. It does. Uh and you're really you're you're setting them up for the future, you're not setting up for now.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 7:20

Uh and I know that there are families out there that uh push their kids into doing part-time jobs because they kind of need to uh to to help the family out. Uh, and if they're not, if that's one child that they don't have to pay for, then great. Um I I just I I think it's a it's a good good idea to put kids into into work. I I think um it's got to be manageable, but I think you know, once they get to an age, 15, 16, I think we should be looking at part-time roles. I like the idea of Maccas. I don't know how well it'll go, but the idea of Maccas where there is uh a progression where they're constantly teaching you different stuff, um management experience, all that sort of stuff. I I remember I was working at a school once where most of the the teaching staff, uh apart from a very small minority, were all almost fresh out of uni. Yeah. And uh there was the impact that that was having on the kids, I think, was significant. But then if we look at it from a workforce perspective, those young teachers were getting put into uh leading teaching roles at a much quicker rate than they would anywhere else.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Yeah, because the workforce is shrinking.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

Yeah, but but on top of that, they couldn't attract any older heads in that school. So then the um, but then what was happening was it was just a cycle. So then they these teachers would go into LT roles and then all of a sudden they're they're out of the school. Yeah. It set them up to go to a different role, um, which is a a difficult thing. But I so from that perspective, it works for the individual. If we look at Maccas for a a young person, the the learning experience is so big because they've got lots of online learning platform stuff that they can access. Uh, but I remember when you you were younger, you worked at a fish and chip show, didn't you?

SPEAKER_02 9:21

I did. I did.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

How old were you when you started that?

SPEAKER_02 9:23

Oh 14, 15, something like that.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Yeah. The rules are very different, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Plus you've got cash, in the rules are different, cash in hand. And that's the thing, like that, you know, you've got obviously got bigger businesses where you have to go through payroll that you have to be a certain age to obviously do that because there are rule requirements around age.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

Oh, you know you're allowed to breathe when you talk, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Shut up, you correct. Um, but then there's you know, cash in hand jobs. So there are kids working out there, they're the younger getting cashies, and good for them. I think it's great because it works work and it teaches you regardless.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

What I would say is let's say let's just say I have a um educationally astute um child, right? Very um academic focused, kicking goals. Uh, I would say you have to be mindful of those kids because a lot of those kids have really high expectations of themselves. Uh, and a lot of them end up in rooms like my office because they can't meet reach them and they're constantly chasing perfectionism and all that sort of stuff. Now, if you add in that to that a uh a part-time job, you're gonna cook them.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Yes, yes. But at the same time, that part-time job will give them social skills they probably ain't gonna get out of a book.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

Yes, but are they going to accept it? And I could tell you now you won't, because they'll be heads will be stuck in the books, and so that that that has to be uh a factor that you have to understand your child, I guess, is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

And then how do you balance that? Because obviously, coming into the VCE perspective, there are kids out there that actually care about their schools because they want to go into uni and they have to get scores. Other kids don't really care. Um, but how do you balance that education study factor and school requirements with working? Because that just adds another layer into stress for a child.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

It does. I don't know if you can. I don't know if there is a balance for that. I guess that really depends on the relationship you have with the your child's employer. Because I don't know if you can, to be fair. Let's just say uh an organization like a Maccas, is they're a good example, right? An organization like Maccas, they're going to roster you on. If you can't meet that roster, at some point, they'll stop giving you shifts. So that that that's that's a difficult space. I think if you're working for a smaller company, um, like like what you did with a fish and chip shop, where you I don't think you worked during a weekday, did you?

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Oh, no, I did.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Did you?

SPEAKER_02 11:54

I did. I think I was um a regular Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday routine.

unknown 12:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

And then every now and again, the early in the week might change, but definitely Thursday, Friday, Saturday, because that's their peak, peak days.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I I don't know if you can. I really don't. That's why I'm saying to you that the higher achieving academic kids do be really mindful about the impact on them.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

I suppose that's where it comes down to having that that relationship or that discussion with your kid and and recognizing that, you know, school uh work is great. However, at this period of time, academics is more important and you need to speak up if you're not managing.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

I guess it depends on why they're working.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

You know, like if you've got a uh um a lower achieving, I don't really like to say this shit, but let's just say I have a lower achieving uh academic child, then learning um skills in the workforce would be a good idea. I think.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Like if you've got a child that wants to go into um being a tradie, yeah. Take on the VCE and the scores don't actually matter.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

Yeah, VMware's got for, but uh, I think um uh in that case there, that's a bit different because they want to be more hands-on. Yeah, they like tactile stuff. So uh that's good. I think if they can pick up you know a a few days, oh even that that impacts the day, the the week as a school. So I I don't know if you can really find a balance between school and work. I really I don't think you can. Like you look at um was it Patrick the last week or two, he had a shift start at four, finished at eleven.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Yeah, they asked him, they asked him to to work a double essentially.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Yeah, but by the time he gets home, it's get home, shove some food down his gob, get in the car, and we're gone. Um, and and then you know, it's although I'm pretty sure that was like a Monday or Tuesday. Yeah. And then he gets home at 11. By the time we get home, it's probably a quarter past, has a shower because he stinks like you know, an oil. That's all he smells like. He's dark bed. I don't know how anybody works in that space. But anyway, stinks it up, goes straight, has a shower, gets into bed straight away. And then he's up again at you know, quarter seven or whatever it is to get ready for school the next day. Um, you know, what's the expectation academically now?

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Well, yeah, and that's the thing. You know, if if you've got a child and you know what their academic scores are like and you start seeing it slip, you know, that's a that's a period of where the parent will then have a talk going, is this the best thing for you right now? Maybe we have to cut back.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

And that's what I'm saying about you've got to know your child. Uh even now you you look at our child here working at Maccas, there are Aussie uh Softball Australia stuff that he's got to be a part of. But that's gonna conflict. So there's a couple of um uh online meetings and stuff like that that he won't be able to attend uh because because of that. Now we have to make sure we have that conversation with the coaches, which we have, and that's it's all good, and they're happy for him to work, but it it really, really is gonna come down to uh how well you know your child, what's the impact that they're going to uh that's gonna happen if they do go into a part-time job, and then uh why are they going there?

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Yeah. And I guess that's that's what it comes down to is the why. You know, some parents are happy for their kids not to work because money is the money factor's not there. They'll flip whatever they need to for the kid. And, you know, it's not about them earning money because money's always available. Um, but that's where it comes down. What do you actually want them to get out of it? And sometimes it is that social factor, learning what it's like to be in a workplace, learning like you'll need all different kinds of people when you start working, all different kinds of behaviors. Um, it's not like high school at all. So, what is the aim? What is the point of them actually working?

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Yeah, that's right. And if you don't know that, don't send them in. Don't get to understand it. Why do they want to work part-time? You know, what is it that they want out of that? They're gonna say money, right? But then I would ask them, you know, what's what else? What is there and is there another reason why you want to work? Or why that you want to do a part-time job outside of school hours, all that sort of stuff. Get them understand it, get to understand the motivator behind it. Why they, you know, what's what's driving them to go and do that? Um, and there's probably there's probably a thousand reasons, but um if you don't know that, don't enter into it. Yeah. Um early good, but there's there's a balance in it. What and and like I said, there's no actual balance to academics and work, but there is a balance to my approach to doing it as a parent.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 16:47

And sometimes we've got to step in. But anyway, that's my two bobs.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Great, perfect.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

So our topic today, what have we got, Joe?

SPEAKER_02 16:55

It's screen time.

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Screen time. Screen time, what a killer. Can you believe we actually talk about shit? Um Joe, why don't you we start with your screen time?

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Oh, my screen time is shocking. My screen time is shocking. I've got a bit of a phone addiction. Um, and if I'm in my phone, I read books on my phone as well. Um, but if I excuse us here, no, no, I know you do just keep talking. Um but if I'm into if I'm into something on my phone, I don't hear anything that's going on around me. Anything until Luke really barks.

SPEAKER_03 17:32

No, no, or the kids do.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Um because you know, I've you know, it's there's all there's lots of different things that you can be consumed by. Like if even if I was reading a book, not on my phone, but a real book, the same thing would happen. I'd zone everything out.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Um, so but there's there's lots of different things. I mean, it's not just me, you know, you see, like if you sat there and watched people, like if I used to catch public transport and you you look at everyone, everyone has their phone out. Yeah, and sometimes it's just a past time because you know you're sitting on a train with, you know, hundreds of other people and you're passing time. Um, but I think it's becoming an addiction for a lot of people, and you look at the kids now. Like I look at Amelia, even Amelia with her iPad. She navigates her way around the iPad, she knows how to set my phone up better than I do. She's six, it's ridiculous. She changed my phone screen and put it on a revolving wallpaper. I don't even know how she did that.

SPEAKER_03 18:32

Um for someone who spends so much time on their phone, you don't know anything about its features.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

No, I don't. I have no idea. Because I use it for specific things. Um, but you know, I mean, that's the generation that these kids are growing up with. They're growing up with technology. But if I asked her to get off her iPad, oh my god, it's like a monster. She just flips it. Um, but she's on an iPad all different things, like for school. She doesn't get reading books for school. They've got a QR code. She does. No, not anymore. They because they've only got a certain amount of books and she's read them all. So now she gets a QR code to go to a library on her app on on the iPad, and she reads books on there.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 19:13

So everything is on the goddamn iPad. I thought she gets a book once a week. Oh, it's that's a library book. So she has reading books every day that she needs to read, and then she gets a library book once a week. Gee, so how connected are you to your daughter?

SPEAKER_00 19:25

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 19:26

No schooling. You've got an idea. I'll make sure there are books in her bag. What do you mean? Anyway. Um, but you know, it's it's the way it's everything's being set up. Learning is on the iPad or a laptop. Everything is on technology. So how do we get them to switch off? We don't How do we get them to go outside and play or play by themselves or you know, not just kids, adults, Joe.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

Yeah. Adults are shit. Like you look at you, you won't leave the couch if you had your phone in your pocket.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Yeah, because I go one from one thing to the next thing to the next thing. And I don't actually spend a lot of time on social media. I don't have a social media position. I play games, I read books, I do all different stuff. But Harley on so other people have social media. They go from TikTok to Insta to, you know, it's it's the addiction is real.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Yeah. But what are you actually addicted to? I like this one. What are you actually addicted to?

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Getting away from you.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

Yeah. Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Oh, girl.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

No, what are you actually addicted to? Oh no, you tell me. No, I want to guru, tell me. I know what, but I want you to have a crack at it. What are you actually addicted to?

SPEAKER_02 20:38

The isolation.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Yeah, what else?

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Oh, we can sit here and silence for ages, Luke.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

We could, yeah, it'd be a really boring episode. But you're shit.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

We're not in a counseling session, mate.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Yeah, but the idea here is to teach other people how to access that information. And if you don't know how to do it, how are you helping them? Well, because you've got to tell them. Yeah, but I don't like telling people shit. So like are we on the podcast? The idea here is that if you were to reach in, you would probably find that you're addicted to what's going on in your head.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

Usually I'm addicted to switching off. I don't want to deal with anything on my phone.

SPEAKER_03 21:24

That's incorrect.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Is it?

SPEAKER_03 21:26

Yes, because if you were addicted to switching off, you wouldn't be reading a book.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

But I'm switching off everything around me, bang. Bang.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

You got nothing. It's true. What you're doing is you're you're addicted because I know this would happen. This happens for a lot of people. Uh when I was in the city, uh, I was there for uh for eight days for a training, and I'm standing at the front. I oh I I if I'm not an hour early, I'm late, right? So I'm there so early. Hate the city, so I want to beat as much of the traffic as possible. Get their real LM standing at the front. And where were we? We're on uh is it Elizabeth Street and um Blinders, yeah. And uh there's a whole bunch of people because Starbucks is not far from there and whatever, and they're all standing around and everyone's got their phones out, right? Now, what they what they what I I watch because I can't help myself. So I'll watch what they're looking at, right? I'm not looking at my phone, I'm looking at their shit. So I'm looking at their phone, what are they looking at? What are they looking at? And they flick from app to app to app, and then they'll go to Google, and then they'll go to Safari or something like that, and I'll search something up, and then I'll look into it, right? And then I'll go to another app, then I'll come back and I'll go and search something else up. So they're addicted to what's going on in the head. That's the problem with the phone and the technology that we have right now. It's amazing what we've got access to. It's awesome stuff. However, I think what happens is if you're already in your head, your apps in your head are constantly open. And so then if you have a thought, there's no way of you going, I'll look that up later. It's just because it's sitting there in your hand or in your pocket already, you go bang and you look it up. So it's instant um information. Instant. Yeah, you don't have to wait for nothing. I remember when growing up, uh, I never could, our family could never afford this, but my cousins used to have them.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

The encyclopedia.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

The Encyclopedia Britannica. Yeah, and it will, what was there, like 25 books or something like that, 26 books, massive amount of books. And no one's gone to those books to look that shit up.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

I don't even think readers don't even have those books. I remember when uh people from away my parents, didn't we?

SPEAKER_03 23:40

Yeah, I remember the house. Yeah, but the pages were brand new, yeah, because no one used them. But so now we've got you know a thousand times that, more probably more, million times that amount of information in one little spot. So I think that that plays a role. Now I watch you, you're addicted to what's going on in your head because you flick from app to app too, right? You won't let the this whatever bloody game you play on your phone, you won't let that sit idle for an hour. You'll read for a bit, then you go to the game, read for a bit, then look something up, read for a bit, go back to the game, read for a bit, look something up. It's always happening, right? And uh I I I think personally, when you say things like I want to switch off, and this is what we've replaced switching off with, yeah. Otherwise, so it's it's to me, you're not actually switching off. We're we're not addicted to the phone, we're addicted to what the phone gives us. Yeah, so don't blame the phone.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

So, what do we do for our kids?

SPEAKER_03 24:48

What do we do for our kids? See, I I think um boundaries are important. So what I notice with Amelia is she'll get crabby with you, but she never gets crabby with me. Patrick was the same. He loses his nana about that iPad when he was a little boy. Never did with me. Why is that?

SPEAKER_02 25:12

You probably give him a warning.

unknown 25:14

No.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

To get off. Oh, yeah, I was I'll say, you yeah, a lot of time people sometimes it couldn't, but it was like a lot of time we're like, hey, you you're off that in a minute. And then I walk off, do the thing I need to do, come back, need to get off now. And they're off. Never argued. Always argue with you though.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Everybody argues with me.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

No, you argue with them. Okay. So anyway, the so uh how do we set boundaries with that? I think it's about the relationship you have with the child rather than their iPad. Remember, they don't have a relationship with the iPad, they have a relationship with the stuff that the content that they can consume from the iPad. So are you going to beat that that um uh content? The answer is yes, you will. But if you've you have to understand why you've given it to them in the first place.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

Yeah, sometimes it's you know to keep yourself busy so you don't annoy me.

SPEAKER_03 26:11

Yep. And initially, I remember we gave we we we got the iPad for Amelia because well, for starters, she took Patrick's old one.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

She took Patrick's old one. Patrick got the iPad because he needed it for school. He was then he just got it.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

He did, and then poor kid, she gets dragged around the ballpark every weekend, yeah, interstate, all of this stuff. And this poor kid is just like it was just like another ham peg.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

Yeah, and the iPad, it was essentially it was essentially for her to watch shows to keep her entertained while we're at sport majority of the time.

SPEAKER_03 26:48

And she was really good. She was really good, she still is.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

I mean, she'll run around and then come back to trolley and watch a show and run around, come back to the trolley and watch a show.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Um, but that she hardly ever watches shows anymore. It's all different stuff.

SPEAKER_03 27:00

Yeah, yeah. Um, so why did we give it to her in the first place? You know, we gave it to her because we needed to entertain her.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

Yeah. So we created that.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

Yes. And we're no different to most parents. Uh I would say that um if I don't have the relationship with my child where I can set boundaries that get followed, we're talking about a much bigger issue than an iPad or content on a phone. Uh, how do we limit screen time? Uh I know this family that are very strict on screen time. Actually, I know a few of them, so strict on screen time. It's like you get the kids will get maybe half an hour, and then they've got to go out and do something different for an hour or two hours, whatever. That's not a bad thing. They can do another half an hour, right? But it doesn't work because the kids don't go out and do anything different, they just linger around and watch TV and stuff. So the content that they were consuming on their device, they're now consuming on the TV. Okay. All right. It's not working. And so then the parents are like, well, no, no laptops, no TV. Right? So you can imagine how cold that joint would have been, because it would nobody's actually talking to each other. I think that was the intention. No one's talking to each other. And then it's met with uh where where the kids are going, you don't let me do what I want to do. Notice that a lot. And then all of a sudden you're in an argument with the child, right? Where I think if you have um, I think if you have a good relationship with your child, it wouldn't matter. And the relationship I'm talking about is where I'm the authority. The too many times you see in families, and I see them come in here, kids all the time, they'll come in here, and the parents will be like, they don't do what they're told, all this sort of stuff. And when you dig deeper, the parent has given the authority to the child, and now we're friends. You're not an authority anymore. I don't like that. And then then we're sitting there going, okay, well, how do we get better screen time and and and slow down the screen time, limit it all? You got no chance.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:14

Because you're not an authority anymore, you know. Uh, and so it's it's it's more about how how I am as a parent than it is about the the screen time, I think. Because if right now, if I walk outside, if I walk out of this room, and I I'm assuming Amelia, I got no idea, but I'm assuming Amelia's on her iPad. Patrick be playing his video games, they'd be sitting there. If I walk out there and right now and say, come downstairs, you've got to do something, they would drop their shit and come down.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

What would happen if you did that?

SPEAKER_02 29:45

Patrick would.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

Yeah. Amelia would slowly come down, but she'd be still holding that iPad. Yeah. And and so there'sn't the authority, isn't quite the same. And so then when you go and ask them to do something, it's normally you do you do, you know, uh WOG mother stuff, right? Where you like yell and scream and you'll trip the shit out of everybody. Um, and and that shit don't work anymore for kids. No, they know that shit. They know it. So um I think authority is a big deal. It's a big deal. And if you don't have authority and you've given it to your child, good luck. Good luck. That that that there. What I've noticed is when I work with parents, we take care of, we solve the parent problem, we solve the kid problem. That's that's the way I look at it. And so if we've got this problem with screen time, I can guarantee you that as soon as we work with the parent, the screen time is no longer an issue. Because they've got no power. Now there's a lag time. There is. I had this one family I was working with a while ago, where the uh the kids were school refusing, they were spending a lot of time on their devices. Um, they were they were spending time at home doing nothing.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Yeah, there was their world.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

Yeah, 100%. And uh their parents are pulling their hairs out, and there was been a couple families like this, and parents are pulling their hair out, and they're like, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm like, take the shit off them. They're like, what do you mean? Literally pack up the stuff when they don't need it for school and stuff like that, and then put it away. Get yourself a safe and stick it in there. And they're like, oh, kids will lose a shit. Yeah, but you help create this. So now you have to deal with the ramifications of that. Now they're like, oh, but the idea is to get them back to school. Cool. You can't get them to school if you're not an authority. We need to create a space where it's like if you're at if you're not if you're school refusing and they stay home, that's okay. They can use their devices, right? The idea is that you sign them up to a uh online learning platform like IXL Learning and then make them do a whole bunch of modules on there.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

And you can track it because it'll send it all to you. I want you to mimic school at home so that they know, oh, what's the point? I may as well go to school.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

And they did. Now, these kids that I'm talking about were sitting at an attendance rate at around 20 to 30 percent a year, which is ridiculous, right? They're now sitting in the 85-90 range, right? All because the parents implemented boundaries for themselves and boundaries for the family, and they didn't deviate.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

And I think that's the hardest thing. Don't deviate.

SPEAKER_03 32:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

Because just because it works for one day, two day, three a day doesn't mean you can stop.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

Yeah, that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Kids are smart, yeah. They rate, they play the game, do what they need to do, and then they see an inch, they'll take them while yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:01

And you know what? Uh I think uh the punishments are different too. Like, there's no way growing up in my era, I don't know too many kids that didn't cop a hiding normal growing up, right? From their parents. If you did that with a parent back then, you copped it. Now I feel for parents because they don't know. They don't know what they can do. And you know, the government stepped in and protected all the kids. I've said this before on the show. They stepped in to protect the kids, they had to do that, it was great, but then they left the parents with no elder to teach them because the elder did the abuse thing, right? Because that was the time. And so now what? What are those parents left with?

SPEAKER_02 33:48

Yeah, how do I be the authority?

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Yeah. And now you look at now, parents are handing a lot of the uh parenting over to schools, to teachers. And teachers, like, I'm not I'm not here to parent your child. That's right. That's that's never gonna work. Uh so and then they'll then then they teach they treat their teachers like they treat their parents, like shit. Like shit. I've seen it firsthand. It's bad. Yeah, bad. You get a parent and a teacher in the same room, you can't tell which one's what from the kid, because the kid responds to this to both of them the same way. It's terrible. So, authority, what does authority look like? Looks like I'm in control here, I'm the adult, these are the rules.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

And what's the consequences?

SPEAKER_03 34:39

Yeah, I I don't like the whole what if. If you don't, then this, right? I don't like that. I like them to think about it themselves. I'm I'm a prick like that. I like to leave them just thinking, oh shit, what will he do if I don't do this?

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Yeah, so if kid steps over the boundary, you've set a boundary, they step over it, how do you manage it as a parent?

SPEAKER_03 35:01

Well, how would you?

SPEAKER_02 35:03

How would I? I'll pick up my phone and call Aunt Luke.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

See, yeah, old mate over here. Look at her. No, you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

You'd have to No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

How do you handle it?

SPEAKER_02 35:17

Well, Patrick doesn't go over the boundaries.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

Not anymore. Not anymore. He's geared.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

It used to be we used to take stuff off him.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Um, you know, he'd miss something, he'll miss a sports day or a swimming, or you know, if if you can't if you can't follow the rules and know what the boundaries are and you keep going over them, then I'm taking something away that you like.

SPEAKER_03 35:38

Yeah. And I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

It doesn't happen very often, and it's really hard to do, especially when he's good at something. You know, they've been hanging out all week for it, but that's the consequence.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

Yeah, he did that once, didn't he, at a national tournament? Mixed it up with a kid in the middle.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

Yeah, he missed the last day. He wasn't allowed to play.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Yeah, missed the last day. I made him sit. I was coaching.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

Um his punishment.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

Yeah, yeah. And that was tough. It was tough for me too. But either way, um I remember uh going through some stuff. Uh Patrick was not doing so well at school. He was only in primary school, very young, and I was getting some support for that. And then the person I was working with, she's like, You need to do the work. And then on on yourself, because he's you know, monkey see, monkey do type thing. And then she she's telling him that this is what he needs to do, right? You need to follow the rules, blah blah blah blah. And then she says to him that if um if you don't follow through and dad has to tell you off, right, that's gonna hurt him more than it's gonna hurt you, right? And then she looked at me and said, You can cry in your bedroom, but he can never see you do it. And and I'm like, what are you talking about? I didn't even think, what the fuck's that shit? Anyway, so then Patrick gets told off for something, and I'm like, oh my god, I get it. Like I didn't cry, but it was like, oh my god, I get it. That actually hurts. That hurts me telling me him off. And I had to find ways to manage myself in that, yeah. Because uh then I start beating myself up for it, and that's when I find most parents will then go um and cave. Yeah, I don't want to hurt my child, yeah, but you're not, you're teaching them how to to be functional in this world. So screen time is one of those things, it's just one of those things. Is there a set time that they uh that which limit them to? There's probably a million studies out there about time and you know how much time are they spending on their phones and and on their devices and the impacts on the brain and all that sort of stuff. For me, it's pretty simple. I think um I like the kids because we live such a busy life, I like the kids just to do whatever they want when they're at home. Whatever it is that allows them to, you know, just chill and relax. I don't mind.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

Yeah, it's a safe place, it's the place of freedom.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Do what you want. Yep. I don't mind. If that if that's playing video games, if that's on the on the iPads or whatever, I don't care. Just go and enjoy it, right? I I know that at minimum, they're off their shit um at least half an hour, 45 to an hour before they even go to bed. I know that that happens. Old mate Patrick, maybe he sneaks out his phone every now and then, but for sure. Um, and there's a group of kids that I know that plays baseball and that with.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

Do late night call group calls.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

Well, they call it some bullshit hours. It's like, I'm glad I can't hear it. I'm a crack it. But um, but I know it's happens, um, but I've never been able to catch it, and to be honest, I kind of don't want to. Yeah, because uh like I know what it was like growing up, and it's like uh that was fun. I we never could do group calls back then, no, but that was fun to just get on a phone, hanging out with your mates, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

But and it's different now, but I they're on YouTube for such a short allow of time.

SPEAKER_03 39:09

Enjoy the weekend, um, and it's not getting in the way or nothing. He still gets up and goes to school and does all that. If he wasn't, that'd be different.

SPEAKER_02 39:17

Yeah. Then it would be the boundaries have to come in.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

Yes, that would be very different, and then it'd be like your phone can get charged in my room. I'll wake your ass up in the morning. Do you know what I mean? Um, that's that's how I would handle it. Uh, and I wouldn't argue nothing. I'm not arguing. Um, and I get that it sounds pretty dictator-like. Too bad.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

Well, you it comes back to you, like you said, you're the authority.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

Regardless of what happens, I'm gonna have to deal with it. I'm gonna have to deal with it at the school, I'm gonna have to deal with your attitude, whatever it is. Well, then I'm gonna do it my way. That's the way I see it, right? Bugger everybody else, we're gonna do it this way. You know, I like it, I don't care. You get on with your shit. Live up to expectations that we have a view and that you have a view, and then we can talk. Till then, I don't want to hear shit. That's the way I would handle it. Um, so authority is important. Uh don't even I never ever compromise on that. Don't ever compromise on authority. As soon as you compromise on authority, you leave yourself compromised as a parent every time.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

So you see it all the time. Um, where parents cave if if a child is starting to have a meltdown or crack the shits, or you know, and it's kind of like they cave and they give in. And then you if you watch close enough and it's not your child, because in the moment you're just freaking embarrassed and you want them to shut up. Um, but if you watch closely enough, you kind of see the little smile on their face. I got what I wanted. Yeah. I can play the game, I know how to do it.

SPEAKER_00 40:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

And it's it's bad, but you know, it's it's staying in there and staying committed. And you know what? Most parents will look at it and it's not about judgment at all. It's like, I feel for you, we've been there, we've all been there.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

But that's the thing, right? Yeah, that's what I was about to say. Every parent in the place knows that this is the way it is. Yep. And we still get embarrassed by it, right? Uh, because we we're so hell-bent on comparing ourselves to everybody else around us. I I think that if all if if everybody else around you knows exactly the way it is, who cares, man? Just let it go. Like, as soon as you allow your child to build a strategy, they're gonna use it. That's right. Not always deliberately, it's automatic program, then. And that's the way they manipulate to get the things they want. We all manipulate in in situations all the time. We all do it. We're human, this is what we we we are designed to go get what we want, right? We are going to manipulate how we go about it is very, very important. And if you allow your your child to do that sort of stuff, it ain't gonna be good for them long term. And what type of relationships are they gonna have?

SPEAKER_02 42:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:12

To me, I never give a shit, I never cared.

SPEAKER_02 42:15

Well, I think I was more embarrassed by your reactions than Patrick's reactions.

SPEAKER_03 42:19

Yeah, no, lucky he because he would he would do some really big emotional stuff, and I'm like, nah, man, I'm matching that, so I'd match him, and I don't care who saw me. Could not give a shit. And I remember someone saying to me one day, some lady said to me, um, I'm not gonna use her name, but uh, she says, You're a pig of a man, how dare you speak to your child that way? And I said, Guess what? She goes, Well, go fuck yourself. I don't care, I don't care, man. You don't have to live with the kid. Yeah, you don't, you don't have to rear him either. So you know what? Do yourself a favor and just walk away.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

He stopped, didn't he?

SPEAKER_03 42:56

Yeah, he absolutely stopped. Yeah, got exactly what we wanted. And now look at the rewards of that. You know, you uh we're talking about he was probably six, seven years old at the time. Now he's 15, very respectful kid. Uh people talk really highly of him as a person, and uh, and you know what? He can be a little retarded sometimes, but you know, he's just a teenage boy, right? But um lucky you can say that, Luke. Yeah, unlucky anyway. So um I think uh we he is reaping the benefits of what the tough work we had to do initially. And and that's the key thing. I'm not claiming none of it because he's the one who had to make the adjustments, but we had to create an environment for him to do that. Yeah, and that is the important part. What environment do we have at home? What environment do we have that can allow our children to be who they We're destined to be or who we want them to be.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:03

You know, I think that that's got to be something that we discuss as a family too. Hey, this is where do you want to go with your life? I don't know. Most kids will say, I don't know. And then it's like, well, this is what I would really love for you to be able to do. Have these choices, have these options available to you. But you keep acting like this, you got no chance, man. That's right. So do you want this? And they'll say yes. It's gonna be tough work. Yeah, okay, whatever, whatever. Sometimes I'll probably say no. And then it's like, well, too bad we're doing it. Right? Because if I'm the authority, that's unlucky. I don't care. I don't mind if you don't like it. But you will respect it, especially in five years' time. Have a very similar conversation about sport today with somebody. And like, you know what, we've got to change the culture in this space. Because if we do, things will be different. And then people will want to stick around and be a part of it. And they'll thank you later, right? And it's the same thing. You have to be committed for the long term. Don't be committed for a month. It's not a diet. We're building a young human here. What are we looking for? Yeah. And if we're going to go after this, we have to teach them what it looks like to be committed. And if you're not going to be committed, you're giving them nothing. You're hamstringing them. And then you're saying to them, hey, let me break both your legs and I want you to run a hundred meter sprint as fast as you can. No chance. Right? So I think that um, and I can get pretty passionate about that stuff because purely because of the stuff I've had to deal with in this room that could have easily been avoided if a parent was centered enough within themselves to say, I can be an authority and I don't have to hurt you.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

But it's like you said, they don't know because the generation that they learnt off was they're being told you can't parent like that anymore.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

Yes, but the the parent the generation before us still did this. It's just if you didn't, then you got the next bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:09

The boundary was still there. It was just with the consequences.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 46:13

We're not good.

SPEAKER_03 46:14

And and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:15

So we have to replace that with something else.

SPEAKER_03 46:17

Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

All right. So let's wrap it up.

SPEAKER_03 46:20

Wrap it up already.

SPEAKER_02 46:21

No, into a toolkit.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

Yeah, no, it's okay. That that that is my talk. Be with the authority. What does that look like? Um, if you have a a teenage kid that's 17, 18 years old, it's gonna be tough. It's gonna be tough to change. If they're 15, 16, it's gonna be tough to change. If they're 40, whatever, over here, no chance.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

My fault. No chance. It's like I'm finger pointing.

SPEAKER_03 46:50

Uh I'm sorry, am I pointing at you? So just like this. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Um, if you hear the words that came out of your mouth, no chance of change, so leave me alone.

SPEAKER_03 47:00

It's I don't even say anything anymore. You if you watch, I love this bit when the kids are talking to you because you're on your phone, right? Have a think about these parents, if you're out there and your kids talking to you, and then all of a sudden, they start yelling at you, Mom, mom, right? And then what does the parent do? What do you want? Right? They get all angry, understand? They probably already called you probably five times before that.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

Yeah, we do the same.

SPEAKER_03 47:33

What they what our kids do is they copied me. We say nothing. We just stand there, and then you'll look around. What? What? And then the kids will laugh. I'll laugh. Well, what do you want? That's what you'd say all the time, and then you've got this stupid grid on your face, and then then and then the kids will Amelia's the worst. She gets an assieper. Well, mom, I've been calling you. And she tells you off.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

But she's also, and when you when you do look at it, yeah, she's got a problem with screen time too. But she's just doing exactly the same that I'm doing. Yeah. Monkey see, monkey do.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

You know, we talk about that in lots and lots and lots of different episodes. So if your kids have got screen problems, sometimes they're just copying what adults do.

SPEAKER_03 48:16

Yep. And you could be doing that with work. Right? And that's really tough one to work through. Um yeah, what are you what are you doing that's allowing them to do that? What can't and then how do you navigate that? I think that's the toughest part. If you're working, or if you're if you're a single parent and you've got to do a whole bunch of cooking and cleaning and all this sort of stuff, and the easiest way is to just go about it your business, give them a job to do. That's what I would do. Um, I do already. Patrick hates it when it's time to cut the grass. Hates it. Hates it. It's like we're getting up early to cut the grass, he'll sleep in. Then I'll wake him up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot. Yeah, yeah, I know, because you were asleep, you dumbass. Get up. And then he's doing it. Right. Um, and then when he's done that, you've probably got 10 jobs for him to do. Well, I'm doing 10 other jobs. But we give him jobs, and then I love Emilia. Millie just wants to help. So she gets him those jobs too. And so if we're going back to toolkit, be the authority. No compromising, none. Boundaries, boundaries got to be solid. Compromising where it's like, oh, if I do this, can I get 10 minutes of screen time? If you are, if if things are that petty, you are not the authority. If they have to negotiate that shit with you, you are not an authority. Okay, tang you right now, you're not. Because they should never, there is no negotiation, right? It's either they got it or they don't. It's not, oh, if I do this, can I do that? If you're saying if they're saying that to you, you've probably used that language with them. So uh let's let's dump that. And it really is. When we are an authority, it really is about language and how we deliver. If we are using uh bitchy tones, probably the easiest way to say it, or um aggressive tones, or I'm arguing with my child, you've already lost. If you're using command tonality where everything goes down, because I'm making a point, you're probably being a pretty good authority. If you're not using that, I'm sorry, it's gonna be tough work. So if you have an issue with your child, not following boundaries or something like that, do the work on yourself. Don't do it on child, because it's really easy to blame the kid, but it's really hard to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your role in it.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

Definitely is.

SPEAKER_03 50:49

Do your work, do the work on you first. Yep, show them what it looks like.

SPEAKER_02 50:52

And Luke's really good at showing that mirror. I suppose everyone here already knows that because he constantly holds that mirror in front of me.

SPEAKER_03 50:59

Oh, I ask questions, mate. Oh, you're allowed to answer HR over here. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

No, all right. Move it along. Thanks for that, Luke.

SPEAKER_03 51:10

Yeah. Sweet.

SPEAKER_02 51:12

So goal and achievement. What was your I don't even know what your goal was.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

I don't think I gave one. I think I talked around it.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

I I I listened to um the podcast from last week and I'm like, there's no fucking goal. You're shit.

SPEAKER_03 51:28

Yeah. So I will say, uh, from an achievement perspective, uh, the system that I've been trying to get across to, uh, it's I'm pretty much 100% there.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

Oh, we did achieve a goal that you set about three, four, five weeks ago, because you can set the same goal repeatively.

SPEAKER_03 51:45

So I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02 51:46

We finally achieved it.

SPEAKER_03 51:48

Yes, yes, I'm about 95% there. Uh the rest of it that needs to come across is more as I go. So that's not too bad. Um, how about you? What was your goal?

SPEAKER_02 52:01

Uh, I think my goal was about well, the goal last week was about doing lunches, and we realized we don't need I don't need to do that. So we set the goal about doing breakfasts instead.

unknown 52:10

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

That's going on.

SPEAKER_03 52:11

Yeah, I've done better with that.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

I've done better with that.

SPEAKER_03 52:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:13

It's good.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

For sure. Yep. For sure. Um, yeah. What about this week? You got a goal for this week?

SPEAKER_02 52:20

Oh no. No, no.

SPEAKER_03 52:21

No, you don't have a goal?

unknown 52:23

No.

SPEAKER_03 52:24

Well, I have a goal. Good. My goal I've got to execute tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 52:29

Well, tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 52:30

Plus. Yeah, tomorrow's Tuesday. We're recording today, today's Monday.

SPEAKER_02 52:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 52:35

This is going live at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 52:39

Tomorrow night, uh, I'm doing a team building session.

SPEAKER_02 52:43

Oh, that's gonna be interesting.

SPEAKER_03 52:44

At a at a baseball club. Um, they need a bit of support, our club, uh, for a couple of teams. So doing that.

SPEAKER_02 52:54

Uh so what's the goal on that?

SPEAKER_03 52:56

The goal is to get the outcome where everybody can respect each other. Because right now they don't. Um, and and get them vibing to the point where they can actually enjoy each other's company. Because they get they're getting pretty nasty towards each other.

SPEAKER_02 53:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

So and and I'm you're one of them.

SPEAKER_02 53:16

You're nasty for your wife, so you know.

SPEAKER_03 53:18

Oh listen here, mate.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

It's all love. Come from my heart.

SPEAKER_03 53:23

Please. Uh tune it up. Yeah. The difficult part is for me, is I'm a bit unsure how some of the activities we're gonna do tomorrow will land, but I've got the courage to fuck it up, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 53:39

Do you have one?

SPEAKER_02 53:40

Uh my goal is to be a better friend.

SPEAKER_03 53:44

A better friend. How'd that come about?

SPEAKER_02 53:46

Um just something that we were talking about earlier.

SPEAKER_03 53:50

Try try talking into the microphone.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

Just something we're talking about earlier.

SPEAKER_03 53:54

Without eating it.

SPEAKER_02 53:59

I didn't ever touch it. Anyway, talking about. You know what he's gonna tell me off laughter after. My goal is to reach out to some of my friends. That it's it's always, you know, life gets in the way, we message each other, we always try and catch up. You can never get find a date. It's to get that back on.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

But you know what? You don't have to catch up with them. You could just call them.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

I know that. I know that.

SPEAKER_03 54:29

I know you don't have to always see each other face to face.

SPEAKER_02 54:32

Oh, yeah, I know, and part of that, one of them messaged me while while we're talking.

SPEAKER_03 54:35

So that's really nice. Yeah. How was that? Yeah, beautiful. Well, good luck with that. Hopefully that all goes well.

SPEAKER_02 54:44

You know what? You're not getting a message.

SPEAKER_03 54:46

You know what? Excellent. Oh, I'm so happy. That that that's really good news, Joe. It's really good news.

SPEAKER_02 55:00

Oh, yeah. It may just aren't a fight away and get to stop talking, let alone messaging.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

Do you know what? I can't get it out of my head. You you nearly ate the microphone. You did, man. I can't get it um stuck in my head. Anyway, um, I think that's it for today. Thank you, Joe, for your laughs. My laughs, yeah. I mean you're picking on me. You ain't I'm not picking on you. I'm just laughing at what I've uh what I observed, Joe. Just laughing at what I observed.

SPEAKER_02 55:31

I can't fucking see you, bloody Asian. Oh, hey, hey. Hey, don't have to get racist. Oh, I'm not. Same thing I didn't all try and eat mine, right?

SPEAKER_03 55:40

Wearing it wearing it cancelled now. Oh calm down, mate. Anyway, uh, thank you everybody for listening in. Um, hope you got something out of it. If you get stuck, please reach out. Let's have a chat. Uh this stuff, this stuff isn't always easy to do, and if you do try and do it by yourself, it'll feel like the whole world's against you. So um reach out and let us help you.

SPEAKER_02 56:06

Yes, we're gonna have a chat in a lighthearted way, but there's some good messages there.

SPEAKER_03 56:14

Very broken speech. Uh I'm gonna say something else, though. Nate, just so you know, that wasn't AI. Even AI is smoother than that.

SPEAKER_02 56:23

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 56:23

Come on, Robo. Uh anyway. Uh thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

Um not coming back next week.

SPEAKER_03 56:32

Well, I wouldn't know because you're not gonna message me. So um I hope everybody enjoyed this uh episode. Um, and I hope everybody has a great week. Uh take care. You got something? Yep.

SPEAKER_02 56:45

Well, see you next week.

SPEAKER_03 56:48

I'll see what I'm looking at you.

SPEAKER_02 56:49

No.

SPEAKER_03 56:50

You're gonna do another one anything.

SPEAKER_02 56:51

No, I'm gonna look at you because then you're gonna accuse me of eating the microphone, sorry. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 56:59

Take care, guys.

SPEAKER_00 57:00

Bye.